Ten Unconventional Ways People Have Connected Around the World

Today, many relationships start the same way: a like, a first message, followed by coffee or a walk. It feels like this is how dating has always worked. In reality, humans have had plenty of time to dream up much more inventive ways to meet.

Wales: The Love Spoon Gesture

In Wales, there was a tradition of 'love spoons.' Young men would carve these from wood themselves, decorating them with hearts, keys, anchors, and intricate patterns. The process took significant time, making the gift deeply personal. Buying a bouquet is easier, of course, but it doesn't show your woodworking skills.

While these spoons are still crafted today, they are now more commonly purchased as souvenirs or wedding gifts.

Austria: The Apple Custom

An old custom from the Alpine regions might seem questionable to modern sensibilities. Women would tuck slices of apple under their clothing so the fruit would absorb their scent, then offer it to a man they were interested in. If he accepted the gift, it was considered a positive sign.

From a modern perspective, this is a very specific approach. However, the idea that scent plays a role in personal attraction is something that still resonates today.

China: Singing Serenades

Among the Dai people in southwest China, women gather by the fire in the evenings wearing wide skirts. Men wearing red capes circle around, singing serenades. If a woman is interested in a visitor, she invites him to sit by pulling out a stool hidden under her skirt. The couple then talks, huddled under a single blanket.

In the age of voice notes, this is perhaps not the most outdated tradition.

China: Communicating Through Rice

In another region, during the Sister's Meal Festival, women choose suitors not by swiping, but through rice: they wrap various symbolic items inside it. A pair of chopsticks signifies consent, while a chili pepper indicates a polite but firm rejection. To earn her attention, the man must respond with a song.

It is much like modern texting, only with food instead of messages.

Bali: Courtship Through Combat

On Bali, there is a ritual called Mekare-kare, or 'pandanus war.' Men battle each other using thorny leaves from the plant, often leaving genuine scratches and wounds.

The primary significance is tied to local religious tradition, but these bouts are well-attended, and the courage of the participants certainly does not go unnoticed.

Mongolia: Symbolic Abduction

When families have agreed on a marriage, the bride's relatives stage a symbolic abduction: the woman is placed on a horse and taken away as if against her will, before they 'surrender' and release her to the groom. This ritual, known as 'khasan,' symbolizes the transition from one family to another; it is entirely staged but treated with total seriousness.

It looks dramatic from the outside, but for the participants, it is simply part of a long-standing wedding script.

Mexico: Speaking Across the Canyon

In the mountainous regions of Mexico, a whistle language exists. It allows people to transmit messages over long distances where the human voice would not be heard.

Unsurprisingly, young people also used this method of communication. It allowed them to arrange a meeting without approaching the house and attracting the attention of relatives. A smartphone is definitely more convenient, though perhaps a bit less romantic.

Namibia: Seeking Family Blessings

Women of the Himba people cover their bodies in a paste made from red ochre, a traditional sign of beauty and readiness for a relationship. In this tradition, a man interested in a woman does not approach her directly, but instead speaks with her family first to receive their blessing.

Scotland: The Blackening

The Scottish tradition of 'blackening' the bride and groom looks like an ordeal for people who haven't done anything wrong yet. The groom or bride might be covered in treacle, flour, soot, and other unpleasant-smelling substances, then paraded through the streets.

The logic behind the custom is that if the couple can survive this, daily domestic life will not break them. The reasoning is debatable, but after being covered in rotten eggs and soot, daily domestic conflicts might indeed seem small in comparison.

What Has Changed Over Centuries

By and large, not very much.

Previously, a man sang a song by the fire; today he sends a voice message. Previously, a woman sent a coded signal through a gift; today she reacts to a post or stops responding.

The methods change.